What do you wear to get divorced_ american military university ecampus

What do you wear to get divorced_ american military university ecampus It was a remarkable conversation since both my father and grandmother are dead. American military university jobs Yet it was as if they were standing with me that morning, in front of the full-length mirror in my linen closet. American military university graduation And thank goodness for Dad and Grandma’s guidance, because no one tells you what to wear to get divorced.

There I was, immersed in the mundane of getting three children out to camp. American military university faculty My focus ’til the day before had been simply getting to the day, physically and emotionally. American military university programs I had moved from shock and anger into a place


of strength.

American military university ranking At last, the divorce I didn’t request or want would be final, and I could get past legal documents to embrace summer and a new decade, since my lawyers graciously made certain that this court appearance happened before my 50th birthday. As that day in court approached, I focused on what to wear.

American military university financial aid office Did I go for the elegant suit — “I am accomplished” — statement? The casual – “I don’t care about you any more” – Capris or shorts? Or a strong statement of style?

In the end, I chose a sleeveless, bold blue dress and added pearls and lipstick, thanks to Dad and Grandma. Later, it hit me. American military university reviews No one talks about this! We spend great amounts of time planning what to wear to our weddings.

American military university address Even a low maintenance bride takes time to decide traditional or not, long or short, and perhaps even what color to wear. Who tells you what it will feel like to not only lose a friend and partner but how to now negotiate against him? Or how to learn to say “my ex-husband” without biting your cheeks to avoid crying.

Who tells you how it will feel for you and your children to do any number of things you have done previously as a family? How to answer the tough questions of sad children in just the way they need? Where to find the handbook for experiencing upset and sadness about things unimagined?

Clothing against that new backdrop was a small dot in a larger Pointillist picture. The spiritual impress, on the other hand, loomed large. American military university professor reviews As a rabbi I live in the realm of liminal moments – it is my job to make ritual and meaning for others. American military university degree programs Now, how could I journey from technical legal settlement into a ritual that spoke the voice of Judaism and brought peace to my soul?

Both a get, a traditional Jewish divorce, and a ritual of my own making compelled me. A get is a writ of Jewish divorce granted according to traditional Jewish law by the husband to the wife in a precisely scripted ceremony. American military university bachelors degrees It is enacted by a beit din, a rabbinic court of three Orthodox rabbis. Reviews for american military university The wife is a passive party in the ritual, accepting the granted document. Over the years I had counseled folks that traditionally without a get Jews could not remarry after a divorce.

American military university tuition assistance But, this was about me. American military university graduate certificate I am a Reform rabbi who believes in the teachings and importance of the law, but adheres only to that which is meaningful. My Jewish practice and belief are clearly about gender equality. American military university ranking 2015 A document accepted by Orthodox legal arbiters handed to me by my ex-husband felt antithetical to my being. American military university credibility Yet, I felt a need to have a get, and wasn’t ready to ignore this pull.

Eventually, I contacted a local friend who’s an Orthodox rabbi. American military university careers He called ahead to the beit din. American military university professor reviews While I am certain that call was unnecessary, it gave me comfort nonetheless. What happened?

The get was granted. American military university school code for fafsa The experience proved educational to me, a student of Jewish ritual and history. American military university transfer credit I checked it off of my list.

American military university reviews 2015 But getting a get did not touch my soul. Again and again, I had made meaning and order for myself and others through ritual based in Jewish tradition.

American military university programs A friend and I had even created a new Jewish divorce ritual for her, re-imagining the Jewish practice of tashlich – ritually casting off our transgressions. American military university fafsa school code But this wasn’t my ritual. American military university alumni I too was affirming wholeness, but differently. I struggled.

American military university registrar I read prayers and searched books and websites. American military university online masters programs I reached into my soul.

American military university canada I called rabbinic friends and mentors. American military university faculty Nothing felt right. American military university physical address And, frankly, I was exhausted. American military university t shirts Finally, a wise friend told me to trust I would know what I needed.

What did I know? Water is my ultimate Zen place. American military university masters programs I needed to be surrounded by people who had journeyed through the last year with me, and who knew our tradition enough to support me. American military university phone number I needed to be surrounded by loving trusted friends, my own beit din – not a court, but a representation of my community.

So on a beautiful summer morning three women friends accompanied me to Lake Michigan. American military university ranking 2013 I immersed with my prayers, and emerged energized and whole with a powerful Shehechyanu – a Jewish prayer of gratitude. American military university phone number My friends embraced me with song and meaningful words. Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. American military university clothing Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements.

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